Because I Knew You
by the ticking clock
Summary: Raven reflects on her relationship with her brother and how Charles changed her life.  A series of one shots.


She cried the first night.

She had every reason to, really. Charles was her brother, and she had left, left him lying on that beach, in pain, maybe even dying. Weren't sisters to take care of their brothers? Shouldn't she have been their for him? But Charles had taught her to follow her own path, and so she walked away without a second thought.

But that was then, and this was now.

And now, she missed her brother so much she thought she might die from the pain of it. Hugging herself, Raven sobbed until her throat was raw, until her cheeks were soaked with salt water, until there was only an empty pit inside her. She had chosen her path, and Charles had chosen his. There was no going back now. Charles had taught her to be strong. And in the years to come, she would display her strength with ferocity.

But she would always leave a little time for the tears.

* * *

><p>Charles had always been a beacon of hope. For everyone, not just her. But for Raven, even after she became <em>Mystique,<em>after and Erik had established their team, even after she had first begun to kill, she always saw Charles as that bright spot, that hope to hold onto, even in the darkest of places.

* * *

><p>He was her first friend.<p>

Really, her only friend, until Erik. Erik was a whole different story. He was as hard as the metal he commanded, but he was the first person to ever call her beautiful, the first to ever truly love her for what she was.

Erik and Charles were different. Erik was troubled and pained, still very much the broken twelve year old who had lost his mother, but also the headstrong man with a mission. Charles was the patient, kind man who used his powers to help everyone. They are so different, yet she loves them both. Still. And even now, when sometimes, all she can think about is mutant freedom, eliminating the humans, winning this "war", she thinks back to her earliest memory.

And the only thing she can picture is a little boy's smiling face, and his soft voice in her head, _you__ never __have __to __steal __again._

When she opens her eyes, she finds her cheeks are wet. _Oh__ Charles...if __only __that __were __true._

* * *

><p>She goes to see him on the anniversary, the day he found her in his kitchen, so many years ago. It feel wrong, walking up to the school, this place that Erik and him had created, and feeling like a foreigner. She had helped shape this place-surely she should feel some connection to it?<p>

She steps up to the door and knocks, once. She takes a deep breath, struggling to control her suddenly nervous stomach and frantic breathing. She doesn't know how he will react, what he will say-

A small girl with striking white hair and large eyes opens the door. A student. Her tiny innocence almost makes Raven smile. Almost.

"May I ask who's calling?" She is trying to sound professional, perfectly polite. exactly like Charles. He had taught her well.

"Can I see your professor?" The words come out fast and frantic, and sound stupidly childish, even to her own ears.

The young girl cocks her head. "Who should I tell him-"

"Storm?" Charles's voice drifts down the hall. "Storm, I-" His sudden stop makes Raven think that he's shocked. He knows her mind after all, even if he swore never to read it(He broke that promise, though...) he knows she's here. She swallows nervously.

And then he comes down the hall, his wheels gliding smoothly over the polished wood, staring at her. His expression is hard to read; is he sad? Angry?

"You can go, Storm." He says, eyes flicking to the girl. She backs away, watching them with wide eyes.

As soon as she was gone, Charles whispers, "Raven?"

She bites her lip, hard, to stop the sudden flow of tears, and melts back into her natural blue form. For a moment she just stands there, not moving, not speaking, simply looking at him. She doesn't really trust herself to speak. Then the tears will really start.

"Raven?" His voice is soft now, gentle. "Or should I say, Mystique?"

She throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging to him, her tears soaking the fabric of his shirt.

He wraps his arms around just as he did when they were children and holds her, strokes her hair, and whispers gently, soothing words in her ear.

And for this moment, he is no longer professor X, and she is no longer Mystique. For a blessed instant, they are simply Raven and Charles; brother and sister.

* * *

><p>Really, it is because of Charles that she is here. He would have wanted it. He would have smiled and told her to go on, to try again, to get back up. He was always so forgiving, so gentle...<p>

She lifts her hand and knocks lightly on the door, each vibration her knuckles make against the wood sending shivers running down her body.

The door swings open and Erik stands in the doorway, staring at her in shock, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wide. "R-Raven?"

He is so old now, so broken and lost, that Raven feels the oddest stirring of emotion-compassion? Sympathy?

She offers him a small smile. _I__ hope __you__'__re __watching __Charles._"Erik." She says, pushing past him, and sitting down on the living room coach. "We have a lot to talk about."

And so on the anniversary of his death...the two former mutants, former friends...former lovers, sit down and talk about the man who changed both their lives so greatly.

And for the first time in many years, Raven feels a sense of peace.


End file.
